Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.
Ban those adverbs! Only use “said” to denote speech! Don’t use exclamation marks! OK.
“If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.” The late novelist, Elmore Leonard, on good writing.